Up-siDe-DoWn!

So here is the scoop, I will always love Brian. I guess moving on with my life has been one of the hardest things I've been asked to do. Don't misunderstand and think for one second that Brian is not every bit as great as I have made him out to be - he is. Things just didn't work for us. I think the hardest thing for me to believe is that something good, someday, will work out for me. Bad things seem to work out much too often. I hate to be a pessimist and expect the worst all of the time, but I don't want to be taken off-guard anymore. I want to know that there is something tangibly stable in my life, and just when I think I have found that one thing - bad luck tears it from my grip. I am a good person. I am strong and firm; most things could not knock me off my feet, but losing Brian turned my world upside down. I feel so vulnerable to the pulls of everything harmful. I have never had to be stronger in my life then now, yet I have never felt so weak or afraid. I used to tell Brian that I was safe with him; without him I feel scared. I must say for myself that nothing can destroy me. I will not be ruined our tainted by the ways of this world. I can and will and do overcome all things. This is not the end of Jamie Kay, it is simply another beginning. Get used to it. Jamie Kay Schofield translated means, another beginning. I can only hope that someday one of my "another beginnings" will have an on-going story with a happy ending. My ending will be happy. That is my promise to myself.